#meditation

Happy New Year and how exactly to make it happy

Happy New Year! There is an old saying: ” How you will meet New Year, same way you will live it!”. Nice. Thank you . It just set up the new pressure to celebrate the New Year the best way you can to have the best out of it. And the pressure of success is ruling the life… the rush to be perfect and to have a perfect setting and perfect company and perfect, picture-worth-many-likes fun. Did I miss something? Oh, yeah, the happiness. That mysterious state of mind that we chase by our attempts to be perfect. But the trick is that they do not always go together. What to do? Below is the answer.

Just remember the times you felt extremely happy. Have your cup-glass of whatever, take a deep breath to let your body feel that you live and remember your happy times. ( often people who experienced lots of sad moments remember them first. I recently experienced a loss, so as my friend suggested to me, I remember and embrace my loss as a light memory, as a good memory). After those sad or upsetting things are passed ( just little pieces of emotions, do not stop with them ), remember the happy moment. And, yes, those are moments. One is enough. This is not about the actual event – this is about your emotion. Choose the one you d like – an excited or a calm one.

No matter where you celebrate you New Year, without getting too philosophical or perfect ( to my experience, both are slippery roads to lose  the momentum of happiness:)) prepare whatever you wanted and stop thinking ( what to wear, what to buy, whom to invite) – just stay content and calm and smile. Do not hurry. For my New Year celebration, there are few disturbing things that are stirring the mood: out of a large group of people who decided to book a nice house, two parties dropped the ball  after the place was already booked, leaving us to deal with high cost. Training camp, my husband getting sick,  and last minute shopping ( and oh, year mani-pedi and what to wear:) – some parts I just ignore ( well, I am not going to make any plans with these people for vacations, but hey, people are people – this is a natural fact – everyone has multiple sides and circumstances). I did shopping list with our french friends- and spend 1hr of my life to buy all stuff, one hour for mani-pedi, and 20 min to answer what to wear. No stress, little time. Tea with lemon and honey for my husband ( plus warm hugs). 1 hour to pack my family , while they are on mountain. Now I called my mom, and having my cup of whatever :))

After you ve done with preparations and enjoyed them ( aha, the preparations for New Year). I mentioned to stay calm, but you ll be surprised, that maybe you are one of those people who loves to be in a hurry before celebration ( “I am here and there and everywhere”). This can be fun too! When the celebration comes, focus on warm hugs ( ha ha remember that kid`s movie character Olaf?), smiles and take that happy feeling that you prepared before into your celebration.

Wishing you lots of fun and  happy moments in a New Year!

One surprising way to add happiness

An old tale:

” Two kids were wondering what their mother, generally happy and healthy lady, is doing everyday for 2 hours behind the closed door in her room? One day they entered the room and saw her sitting at the table and having a cup of tea.

-What are you doing? – they asked

-Making a happy mom for you, – was the answer”.

Tea originates from China as well as both names, tea and chai. These words now spread to different languages. Interestingly, chai in US is referred to indian way of cooking  tea with milk and spices ( like cardamon and bay leaves). For the first time, tea was mentioned as a medicine but later it became a centerpiece of a ceremony in China, Korea and Japan. Drinking tea was a process not only in those countries but also  in Turkey, India and Russia (think of samovar). Not to mention famous British 5 o`clock tea! Drinking tea was taking time, whether it was a green tea with 3 min brewing time or a long way cooked Turkish black tea. This was a social event, a ritual that cannot be done quickly. Feels like a “black hole” of your time that you can never afford? Would you prefer a cup next to your computer?

A lot of articles and career advices are focused on how to become more efficient to do more things, how to fit more to-do-lists and workouts in life to become a better, healthier version of ourselves. Multiple interviews portrait successful people as very busy perfect machines that have each minute scheduled. Yet another bulk of advices focuses on how to overcome stress, anxiety and burned-out stretched in our lives. Hmm.. Apparently, with more workouts, strict diet and tons of yoga and mediation classes. Great and healthy advices, however they often lack moderation. We tend to run from one extreme (12-14 hours work day) to another (everyday workouts and crazy detox).

Here I feel like to add an advice that helps me in my daily life to balance work, my daughter activities, workouts, household,  and some social life and events. Performing all these activities do not make me feel happy. I like doing them when I am in a good mood. But if I don’t, I don’t. So from where shall I take this good mood? I took that old story literally and now everyday I take time to have my cup of tea. It is a ritual but no rule: nice cups, something sweet or not… Even more: a cup of coffee in the morning myself, tea with friend in the afternoon, and a glass of wine after dinner with my husband. All meant to enjoy and celebrate life on daily basis. During this time I play board games with my little one, chat with my friend, or simply sit quietly and just feel good. The key is to make it a priority. I feel happier because I feel my life better. This is my pleasant meditation ( meditation is a degree of awareness). With all those troubles, sadness and fun in life, happiness is the process of realizing the moment.  The life is not about rushing through the checklist, it is about living each day.